The Forgotten Past

I decided to write about my experiences in college 10 days after AusMat prom concluded. I do not know why I took so long to write but it always my intention to write about AusMat.  Prom 2017 is pretty much the same except the fact that I did not spend most of my time hiding in the washroom instead it was one of my friends. This time I got a date to bring to prom although I do not see why she would want to date me considering all of my shortcomings. Like last year, prom this year gave me mixed feelings. I was happy to get out of the shithole, sad to leave the beginning of a strong friendship bond, excited for the next stage of my life and disappointed my dark thoughts are still with me even after another year had passed by. So let me begin at the first day of college. Wait. No. Let me take you further back. Let me take you back to the time when I thought high school is going to be the death of me. Let me take you back to the time when high school reminded me of bad memories and...

Why is it that you have no emotion? How do you keep yourself in motion? What do you do to keep living life? Why do you start talking with the cuts from your knife? You say you do not feel joy Yet you play like a toy You say everything is a trick Yet you never get pricked You say you do not feel sorrow Yet you act like there is no tomorrow You say you do not fear tears Yet you never once shed one You say you do not feel pain Yet your wrists have blood stains You told me to not worry Yet you never told me your story Why is it that you have no emotion? How do you keep yourself in motion? What do you do to keep living life? Why do you start talking with the cuts from your knife?

When tears don't come And words don't tell The loneliness in you Take a metal pen To write stories On your wrist Watch red beads drip And let relief sweep away The pain of yesterday As you draw another line To complete your story Let darkness engulf you When tears don't come And words don tell

               Are you always the friend that never got called to a gathering? Are you the friend that have to walk behind when the walkway is not wide enough? Are you the one that got belittle by each and every of the member in the gang and no one is there to stand up for you so you just have to laugh along. Are your messages got ignored in the Whatsapp group chat? Do any of your friends ever listen to your stories, your ideas or even your pain? Can you recount the times your friends actually sat with you during recess? No? You must be a lucky person. Now, relax and let me tell you the story of a friend that doesn’t have any friend.                 His name was Tre Lee. He was a happy boy. Born in Malaysia, his family together with him moved to Australia when he was 2 so that his father could work in his new company. Every day, his father makes sure Tre does not forge...

                An Islander is an adjective to describe a person who is all alone by himself like one stranded on an island. An islander shall feel no love and give none. To not laugh at jokes their friends made not because it's funny but because he has no friends. To not feel the cares of a brother who is too immersed in his own life. To not feel the love of a mother who is too busy with her work. And expects nothing but beatings from his father. Lastly but not least, to not fit in this society. As if he's from another society. Now, how did i ended up here?                 Maybe it was back to the day when I was born. Or was it the day when my father passed away? Maybe it was the heartbreak I suffered when I thought the love of my life rejected me. Or did it began 2 weeks ago when i defy rational thinking? Maybe it's one of these, but let me introduce myself first. I'm Steven, 14 years old and is an islan...